The Lie that Says Confrontation is Unloving

Jesus cares deeply about the purity and unity of his Church.  That is why he gave us the prescription of loving confrontation to address the sins that stain and divide within each body of believers (Matthew 18:15-17).  We are commanded to tell a brother or sister when we see sin in his/her life that is not being dealt with (v. 15).  For different reasons, however, we neglect to do this as we should.

One lie we believe when ask ourselves if we should say something about another believer’s faults is, “It doesn’t feel like love to rub someone’s nose in their sin”.  We may not say it exactly like that, but we find it a very convenient excuse to believe that it is more loving to just leave things alone.

When you sense your heart moving toward that lie, ask yourself this question: “Was it not loving for God to confront my sin so that I would see my need for a Savior and run to Jesus for rescue?”  God gave us the law and Paul says, “… if it had not been for the law I would not have known sin…  when the commandment (the law) came, sin came alive and I died” (Romans 7:7, 9).  God gave us the law to open our eyes to the reality of sin in our lives and the spiritual death it enslaved us in.

Not only that, but before we came to Christ,  God had to make us see ourselves as “poor in spirit” (Matthew 5:3), that is, having absolutely nothing good in us and no means possible of earning his love.  Then, and only then, did we flee to Christ for salvation.  Would it have been more loving for God to stay silent or even sugar-coat the truth of our sin for us?  Of course not!  We ran to Christ because God showed us our desperate state without him.  We have the beauty and freedom of redemption because God lovingly confronted our wickedness.

Should we not do the same for each other as Christians so that we don’t continue to dishonor our Lord and miss out on the daily joys of his salvation?


About Brent Osterberg

Ransomed sinner, husband to Keri, father to the kiddos three, associate pastor at Calvary Bible Church in Fort Worth, TX, and lover of most things epic. View all posts by Brent Osterberg

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