There are a million different applications of 1 Peter 3:7, You husbands… live with your wives in an understanding way. But one of the simplest, yet pride-swallowing, applications is to regularly ask your wife a question: In what ways am I being neglectful or actively disobedient as a husband and/or father?
Husbands, too often we can fall victim to the lie that in marriage and family life no news is good news. We think, Wow, my wife and I haven’t had a spat in a while, things are going really well, when, in reality, there are issues just beneath the surface waiting to reveal themselves. It may be that your spouse doesn’t want to be thought of as the stereotypical nagging wife or, perhaps, she’s more comfortable not being the one who rocks the boat. It could also just be that your family has been insanely busy and there hasn’t been a still moment for her to bring up your shortcomings. Whatever the reason, our wives don’t always tell us when there is something we need to change as the leaders of our homes. So, instead of assuming everything is peaches ‘n’ cream, we need to make it easy for our wives to talk with us about these things.
If you ask your wife this question, then you are communicating to her a few different things: 1) I want to change and you can help me do this, 2) I know I’ve got problems and I believe that God, you, and the kids are worth changing for, 3) It’s safe for you to tell me where I need to change. I am not going to blow up in anger if you’ve got something to say.